Mistakes you should avoid as a parent when talking to kids while going through the divorce or separation

Talking to kids about your divorce or separation is a tricky thing. As a parent, you must know the ways to talk with your child during these tough times to ensure that it doesn’t leave a lifelong impact on the child’s mind. If you are going through this unfortunate situation, it’s always wise to get a piece of advice from a family lawyer in Toronto regarding the same.

When you talk to your kids while going through a divorce or separation, there are some mistakes that you must avoid. And, it’s important for you to know these mistakes so that you avoid committing them. Jane Mukongolo, a high-rated divorce lawyer in Toronto lists these mistakes in this blog.

What are the mistakes to avoid when talking to kids while going through divorce or separation?

Check out the top mistakes you need to avoid when informing your child about your divorce or separation below.

Mistakes parent should avoid during a divorce1) Thinking of your child as a therapist: Yes, you need emotional support from your tough times, but your child might not be your answer here. Avoid things like telling the faults, and negative things of your spouse to your child. It will only install negativity and hatred in your child’s mind and heart.

Avoid things like crying or yelling in front of your child. The partially matured mind of your child might not be able to carry these things. It will increase the extent of the impact on your child’s mind.

2) Making your child a messenger: Several parents after getting divorced or separated pass messages to their ex by using their child. However, they aren’t aware of the impact it creates on their child’s mind.

Just think of you delivering several unpleasant or stressful messages to anyone continuously. Would you like it? Definitely not. Your child’s partially matured mind will take a much larger toll than you could take in this situation. Thus, avoid making your child a messenger at all.

3) Making the child feel guilty: It’s understandable that you are going through tough times. But, don’t just yell at your child and make the child feel guilty. It will give your child a sense of feeling that he/she is responsible for your divorce.

It’s no doubt that both of you love your child a lot. But, these times often make parents feel frustrated and yell at children for no reason.

If your kids start blaming themselves for your divorce, their minds might get severely impacted by these feelings.

4) Being inconsiderate of the child’s thoughts: Parents often don’t allow their kids to express themselves while going through a divorce thinking that they are immature. They just impose their decisions on the kids.

Yes, you know better about your child’s future and your kids aren’t entirely matured to take their decisions, but at least, be attentive to their thoughts.

Neglecting their thoughts will again install negative feelings and hatred in your child’s mind. Thus, don’t be inconsiderate to your child at all.

5) Discussing financial conflicts in front of your child: The chances of financial conflicts when you are going through a divorce are high. Yes, you need to sort them out, but not in front of your child.

Avoid discussing financial conflicts in front of your child at all. The more you discuss these sorts of conflicts in front of your child, the more your child will get confused, and eventually frustrated.

6) Not communicating at all with the child: Agreed, you don’t want to disclose any sort of stressful things to your child but closing all the doors of communication will only make things difficult for your child.

Ensure that you keep on doing healthy conversations with your child about your divorce or separation. After all, your child deserves to know things. Knowing how much to share is a necessary and important thing for you.

7) Forgetting the child’s age: You simply can’t expect a child of 10 years of age to behave maturely like a 20-year-old.

Parents going through divorce or separation often forget the child’s age and expect the child to behave maturely and behave accordingly. Never forget your child’s age while you are going through this process.

Keep your expectations with your child realistic, be patient with your child, and ensure that your child stays in a good space of mind.

These are some of the key mistakes you must avoid as a parent when you are talking to your child while going through a divorce or separation. Staying patient with the innocent nature of a child during the tough times is a daunting task for every parent going through divorce or separation, but nailing it is necessary.

If you are going through divorce or separation and seeking a reliable companion during these times, reach out to Jane Mukongolo, one of the top divorce lawyers in Toronto. Our experienced team will be quick to analyze your case and provide you with the best guidance. To connect with us, call us at (647) 660-9832.